I made these a couple weeks ago. Since then, I’ve felt good, bad, tired, awake, tipsy, distracted, worried, fine, super happy, super anxious, lucky, weird, cold, hot, fast and slow. I invested in high-waisted pants because what if I died tomorrow?! I’d want to die in cute pants. I put some nail business on my credit card, ate sliders like cookies, drank pink wine, bonded with my mom, bought a “werk it” bracelet, slept to…
Here are some weirdo facts for ya. 1. I’m terrible at the dishes. You’d think living my life as a grown-up lady without a dishwasher for over 10 years that I’d have it together, but I don’t. I have to rewash stuff all the time. 2. When there’s a fly in the house I hold Elliot up and he catches it. Every time. He can catch flies, you guys. It’s like the dog skill equivalent…
Sunday dinner was a big deal growing up. After church you eat a full meal. Main dish! Sides! Dessert! No nonsense. Even now my grandma will ask, “But who do you eat Sunday dinner with?!” And I usually tell her that my Sundays are normally full of brunch, bike rides, and rarely a big sit-down lunch with family in church clothes followed by dessert, coffee, and naps. This last Sunday was different though. I made a…
I learned that it’s not the best idea to grab a dog treat mid-run and put it in your pants pocket. Chances are you’ll forget to give it to the pup and will just launder it, ya know? I learned that storing a twinkie pan on the stairs is a bad idea. Especially when carrying laundry because then you’ll most definitely not see that pan and it’ll be a banana peel slip and fall situation. I…
These buns are a burger clue. And for those of you who are anti-beet you’ll be all, “Thank god you can’t taste those earthy fuschia jerks.” Mostly (2nd clue alert) I needed a bright bun for a khaki burger to come. I know I’m not selling this future burger, but beware… it’s been called the Lady Gaga of burgers. It’s a punch in the face with flavor. It’s good. So… get ready for it later this…
Yesterday I ate chocolate while making tortillas for dinner tacos. Mind you, I was out of everything so the tacos were just made with scrambled eggs, tomatoes, cheese, and hot sauce. And I ate them standing in my kitchen… I don’t know what the deal is. I’ve been so scattered lately! I’ve forgotten to eat meals (what?!). I’ve eaten granola bars for lunch and weird bratwurst for midnight dinner. Life is crazy and busy and…
Sometimes it feels weird to listen to Tegan & Sara while your landlord fixes the thermostat. Sometimes it’s more weird for your heat to go out like 5 times though in a few months! But the truth is Elliot really loves the landlord? Almost as much as this one plumber from a long time ago. I don’t know what it was about that dude! Elliot ran laps of the apartment! Maybe he was a plumber…
Let’s have some real talk about bread-baking. Once, I made some pumpkin sandwich bread after a break-up to prove how fine was. Like, “Hey, I’m fine, just making bread like usual. No biggie. Could you hold up my backdrop for me while I shoot it?” Bread means life’s normal, right? Another time I made bread to win a boy back, and it did not work. (It’s cool because he wasn’t right for me.) I was all,…
Here’s some honesty. I live alone, right? Just me and Elliot the pup. And the truth is, I pretty much never have leftover banana bread. I always WANT to have leftover banana bread for cubing and mixing into ice cream, baking as french toast sticks, or for sandwiching with Nutella and toasted coconut, but when I have banana bread I eat it for every meal. The day I was sorting out the details for this…
Please try to ignore that little dent in the top of the loaf where I tried to flick it for that “hollow” sound and just flicked the hell out of it. Please try to ignore the fact that I can easily take down a loaf of bread in a single lady household. Please make this as soon as you possibly can. You see, I like to slice a homemade loaf, and package it up in…